toddlers....

I hate it when people don't take me seriously because:

• I look younger than I am
  
• or I sound younger
• I am younger
  

SUPER sMiley :)

Today I feel totally happy. Me and bf had a long conversation about his communication. I love the fact that we can talk through our issues. We don't leave things hanging and nothing is kept suppressed. He apologised for the other day and we are making things work. Im also SUPER sMiley coz its a Friday, bright and sunny and I just feel this positive energy flowing thru my veins. Today I feel like every little thing is gonna be alright!!!

Liverpool... last night's game against Chelsea was well played. i like...........

OH MY GOD, when it rains it fucking pours!!! I did not mean to use the name God and the word Fuck in the same sentence but its helping me express how bleak this THUNDERSTORM really is. I am sore, I am tired and I feel so alone. And the shit thing about it is I have a boyfriend to show for this loneliness. 

Life is SO hard. As I write that sentence I get so teary. My tears sting so bad, I feel like I have been squeezing lemons in them. Life is SO hard and it seems to be getting more trying. Work is a struggle, from politics in the office to general confusion in my role at the company. Money is to me as it is to a beggar on the street. So bleeding scarce. I am in debt, I have to pay rent and I have to eat. I am working on a visitors visa whilst waiting for my work permit to be processed. Do not have a fuckin car. Or a frikkin license to begin with.

Now on top of that. I initiate almost ALL the communication exchanges between me and my bf. I feel so unwanted, undesirable and insignificant. I know he loves me but he either has ADD (his fav excuse) or responding to my sms. My heart feels like tracing paper right now. So thin and easy to tear. IM SOOOOO fedthefuckup.  AAAARGH